An Unforgettable Painful Experience

Ok...first of all...this is a true story...no joke man...it's real..

It happened like this...

On Monday( few weeks back)....while I was in class for the first period, the teacher was late to class..so, i decided to have a small chat with my friends....Unfortunately, they were kind of busy completing their homework....(this always happens in my class)...So, feeling rather bored, i saw a table next to me....it was uneven,as the top layer was somehow removed(i would rather choose to describe as scratched off because it was bloody uneven)...so, me, having REALLY itchy fingers, sort of slide my fingers across the uneven surface quickly and roughly left and right....

Then suddenly....a sharp jolt of pain sprang up my finger towards my brain( pain receptors you know). And obviously what most people would do is to shout WTF!!AHHH!!!...while checking your hand for the source of pain....which is exactly what I did.....to my freaking horror, blood was oozing out of my bloody finger....and i was like...could things get any worst???...i spoke to soon...As i check my finger...i knew i poked myself with the sharp tiny wood splinters from the table....i quickly scanned my finger for a splinter...however i couldn't find any...thank God i thought...

However, when i washed of the blood...i could feel something under my skin...So, i squinted my eyes to take a closer look, and i saw a blur image of a splinter...then it rang me...i have a splinter alright...a big one!...Oh God!! I thought... things really got worst...i bet it couldnt get anymore worst....and again...i spoke too soon.....

As I carefully examined it...i couldnt find the hole where the splinter went through...ok....now this is bad...but nevermind...my class has louds of scouts who practically get splinters every single day...so hurriedly, i turned to Wei Jiet and ask him about it and how to remove it...

He then took a closer look...and said...just push it out...so i tried...i tried pushing it out with full force....and God...it was FREAKING painful...but the worst has yet to come...(i didn't know this then though)...but still....it didn't come out...oh damn I thought...this must be the worst day of my life....

So, unable to push it out...I, again consulted Wei Jiet....After i told Wei Jiet about it, he told me to let him push it out for me...putting full trust in him..., I allowed him to do it...he pushed and pushed....but still....it didnt move....aww shucks..this is bad...bad...

So now he told me he couldn't do it...and i thought OK...now this is getting bad..real bad..what next??chop off my finger??-__-''<---kinda extreme thought, but it happens when you're under pressure.....Well then, he told me he needed to puncture a hole in my hand deep enough to make an opening to push out the splinter....and I was like OMFG!!!!T.T Oh !@#$....puncture a hole in my finger without morphin?are you nuts...if soldiers get morphin why can't I...(i later found out the answer: I was not going to war)But anyway...somehow...i approved it....i handed him my mail clipper(he told me he was kinda an expert on this...using a nail clipper to puncture a hole in your hand....geez...even a mechanic pencil would have been safer, easier and less painful,but too bad i wasn't thinking straight at that time)... So, slowly, I allowed him to puncure a hole in my finger....I closed my eyes preparing for the worst...*click!click!click*<---(high tech sound effects unable to be uploaded into the blog so I wrote it in codes....professional eh?don't get jealous...) The pain receptors shot up to my brains with every *click* by the millions...it was an agonizing moment for me...

After 5-10 seconds, he said...Ok..and i was like half dead already...*in my mind:morphin...i need morphin..morphin my babe...come to me* ....So now he dug a hole...and now, he has to push it out by squeezing my finger tightly...(or so I thought)..as he tried pushing it out..blood oozed out of my finger again...this time, faster...( I bet now you're thinking this: Ahh....so that's how it got out..what a happy ending...THANK GOD it came out...or i don't know what will happen to poor Thean Soong....)Well readers, YOU should not thank God yet...and better, you will now know what happens to Thean Soong if it didn't come out...why??cause frankly, it didn't come out...-___-''seriously man...could God hate me that much??Answer:probably..

So i asked him, why can't it come out??and he looked at me like..um...the 'obviously' emote(-.-<---like this). So, rather confused, i looked at my finger...to my horror, I knew the very reason immediately...my finger was bloodily covered in blood...Then, I tried washing the blood away but it kept on oozing out...(now at this point, i'm sure you readers are like WTF??!@#$that's painful man...)....

Well, after that, feeling rather dissapointed, i asked for another way to get it out..and you know what he told me??PUNCTURE ANOTHER HOLE AT THE OTHER END!!!!T.T"....(okay...this has gone really really bad...even the Angels of angels can't help me this time..)..So I asked for other alternatives...and they gave me other crazy ideas that even a suicide bomber would say no to...

Now, i don't know why, or how i actually agreed again to puncture another hole in my other side.....and again...I dreamt of sweet morphin and how it could actually make my life 99.9% easier at that point...well, I thought....at least this will be the last painful jolt before I would get it out of my hand...again, or so I thought....

When he finished puncturing the hole...Wei Jiet and Loo Sen tried pulling it out( just for your info...blood also oozed out at the same velocity and acceleration of the other hole..)ouch....with every attempt to pull it out...i felt pain,pain and pain!...but it was worth it...

A few minutes later...they sorta teold me that they couldn't remove it...oh God...oh !@#$%^&*...i was like 3/4 percent dead and they still couldn't remove it...man this really is situation critical...T.T...could my day get worst??(who knew)...

So before i could ask him for another special technique, the bell rang and teacher went out of the class...(I mentioned earlier on, late, not absent..please pay attention)and it was also a double period for your information..which means the operation was on for the past 1 hour+...well now, it was PJ period..( PJ- a subject in which no studying is carried out and students get to relase their tension kicking balls..erm..ball if you prefer..)..and as you know...i had loads of tension then...so i could consider myself lucky because I had PJ then...but wait...i could get injured at my finger.....hmmm....3 seconds of intense thinking....and with a flash, I managed to think of a solution...which is to ask my friend for a plaster...

So, i went around begging for plaster like a poor man bleeding like he's just been knocked down by a car an miracolously standing...a few minutes later...I managed to get a 1 year old plaster from a friend of mine...i quickly wrapped my finger, changed into my PJ clothes and ran downstairs..

*as i was running downstairs*i thought to myself...Okay Thean Soong, this is the result so far....I puncture my finger twice, lost about 1% of my blood, withstanded pain as much as a getting knowcked down by a car...and all the pain from it(the car accident) concentrated at 1 point...Ouch...pain..and the worst of all, the stupid splinter didn't move a bit....geez...what a waste of energy...T.T could this really get worst??(obviously, with me around...)

Well, so I played PJ, went for my prefects duty, went for recess and so on....

*after recess*it was chemistry time now....and now, i'm sitting next to Stephen Liew, and also near Loo Sen....why is this important? it's because Stephen was the TL for scouts(TL-troop leader)...which means to say...he has the most experience in handling these kind of unbelievable stuff....so i asked him about him...for some wise advise...below is an extract of our conversation:-

TS-eh stephen, how to get rid of this splinter ah?
SL(stephen Liew)-push it out..
TS-can't Wei Jiet and Loo Sen tried edi...
SL-oh..leme see...
TS-OK

And guess what he did??That !@#$%pressed it down hard like it was a stapler...and i was like :-

TS-OH!@#$!!!!what the !@#$ YOU DOING LA??
SL-uh...I have to check whether it's still in there....(that Bas!@#$ was laughing and smiling away).....
TS-I SAID IT WAS INSIDE THERE EDI RIGHT??YOU NUTS AH??PUNDE!
SL-oh..now I know it's in there la...
TS-OF COURSE IT'S IN THERE LA!!!IF IT WASN'T, YOU THINK I WOULD GO TO A LUNATIC GAY !@#$ AND ASK FOR ADVISE AH??HAH??
SL-......
TS-(calm down edi)....so now how?
SL-since it cant come out, you have to use a pin to make an opening...by 'cucuking' it at the splinter wide enough to pull it out....
TS-*mouth dropping real long*...
*a moment of silence while I think about it*
TS- what happens if I go home and do it myself??
SL-what if you cannot remove it?
TS-*it seems SL is now using his brains....*oh.....good point..um..i go to hospital?
SL-you wanna pay $ just so they remove it the way i remove it?and my service is free too
you know..
TS-right...what if i don't take it out and leave it there....
SL-you will have a risk of getting an infection....
TS- what's the chances?
SL-for that kind of wound, quite small...but if you leave it longer got higer risk la..
TS-what happens when it gets infected??
SL-you will have to chop of your finger....
TS-..oh...*so i thought:...hmm...a bit like science manipulated variable...the more longer the
wound is exposed to air, the higher the risk of getting an infection...
SL- any other ways??
TS- don't think so..
*end of chat*

So now, I have to get it out somehow...this is serious man...no joke..the i thought..why not ask Yoong Xiang who is an assistant secretary for St. Johns??..yea!!w00t...problem solved....

so I went to him, ask him how to remove it...and you know what he told me??
YX:cheh...just bite it out la....
And i was like WTF???that would just multiply the risk of infection by 100%...thats suicide...

So now...i have come to a conclusion of how to remove it:-

A: use the pin
B: bite it off like a cannibal
C: hospital....

option A selected...

So, gathering up all my courage, I consulted Wei Jiet and Loo Sen again( Stephen can't be trusted...that blasted short creature pressed my finger!)....so...i choose my equipment to be tortured with.....i was none other than the scouts collar tage pin....

The moment of truth.....i lay my finger there to be operated...(yea...i call it a mini-operation...handled by the one of the most trusted doctors who have no qualification and of unknown experties.....)...so the operation begun....i could actually feel it sinking into my skin....bit by bit....deeper....and then, out of the blue....(he pushed it underneath the skin already....)he pulled the thing up...it tore right through my skin....and i was like OMG!!!!PAIN WEI!!!!AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!...T.T....if you actually notice, the side of a pin is not sharp..and he used the side to tear my skin....man...the pain....(now this was the exact moment where I really needed morphin in ample amounts....too bad i didnt have any...) ...well anyway....i survived...

So, when they made the hole...they finally could see the splinter....LOL...and it took 2 doctors to remove it...1 doctor to hold my hand...(i was shaking my hand vigorously)...and another doctor to remove the splinter with two hands....see how troublesome the stupid splinter gave??

After awhile, they managed to get it out of my finger..so when they took the thing out..the placed it on the table(full of blood of course)...and when i looked at my finger...bloof slowly oozed out.....so Wei Jiet told me to press it to check whether it was out....so i pressed my finger..(i couldnt feel any pain since i just recently experience a much greater pain)..and as i pressed it...blood came out like a fountain...at a higher velocity and acceration than the 2 other holes....but it was ok....cause it was out...thank God....(but not too much though...He didn't help me in the other parts of the story....)...

I then washed it of with my water from my water bottle....

The End.....

Hope you enjoyed it and felt much pain as i did^^

Thean Soong is now happily living his life to the max(almost) and is residing in his house.
he is also um.. trying to stop touching wooden objects although that is impossible..
and he's got his exams next week.

No one was hurt except thean soong and the wooden table who suffered more tha Thean Soong..
(thean Soong nearly dstroyed the table)

The End